Mediafile

Mr Kher's Bengali channel is going to be called SAARC TV. Now, either he is planning to go South Asian before too long, or he has overreached for his Bangla TV, which he could simply have called Bangla TV. Have heard that there is some grumbling over at the SAARC Secretariat about the misuse of the name 'SAARC' by all and sundry, from magician's associations to Rotarians. Do you not think that the bureaucrats over in that ungainly Secretariat building in downtown Kathmandu should be raising hell? But saar, they are all diplomats. What to do?
My new terminology beeper just went off. The term it has located on its radar screen is 'Indianity', a cypher for 'Indian Identity' and used at a seminar on the subject at Udaipur in mid-June by the Kumarappa Institute of Gram Swaraj. Okay, so what does Indianity consist of? Pat comes the brahmanical reply from Dr Vishwambharnath Upadhaya, Vice-Chancellor of Kanpur University, "Bhoogol, bhav, bhasha." That translates as geography, depth of feeling and language.
What do you do with a real estate developer guilty of advertising fraud, by announcing a "Paradise in Dehra Dun" and showing a lovely picture taken straight out of a picture postcard of the Canadian Rockies? Ask for a "Free site visit" as promised and demand a round-trip Air Canada ticket to British Columbia!
A SAARC team was off to demonstrate regional amity on the high snows, I was told, and so I did some research. Who, where to? The destination is the top of Mount Gya in Himachal Pradesh. The expedition was flagged off by Mulayam Singh Yadav, UP-wallah who also happens to be Defence Minister of India. It was organised by the Himalayan Mountaineering Institute in Darjeeling to commemorate India's 50 years of Independence. The 28-member team includes three climbers from Sri Lanka and two each from Nepal and Bhutan. I can imagine that it was not possible to have a Pakistani along when blood still flows on Siachen ice, but what wrong have the Bangalis done to be excluded? So close to Darjeeling, that too.
India will never become a mahaan world power if it turns petulant at every turn. Now, the Indian government has refused to allow filming in India of Salman Rushdie's novel, Midnight's Children. Arrey yaar, grow up!
Talking of grown-up men, Bangladeshis of the male variety seem to be having a lot of fun. According to a report published in late July, and which has all the trappings of serious research, "some 51 percent of married men in Bangladesh said they have experienced pre-marital sex, while 18 percent admitted having sex with other women even after marriage". Far be it from me to accuse Bangladeshi men of lying about their sexual adventures, but, give me a break!
The Asian Age reports from Kathmandu on 4 August, "Even as lashing rain keeps people indoors here in Nepal's Vqapwtal, groups of brightly-clad village women make their way to the watery paddy fields that dot the valley." I love the colour of what those village belles are wearing, and the thought of them frolicking in the paddies, the rain pouring from the skies, makes me feel almost like a Bangladeshi male in full form. But I have to first find Vqapwtal, and my map of Nepal does not show it. Can anyone help?
Truly disturbing confirmation of the dangers of penmanship in Pakistan came my way with the latest issue of the National Gazette and Monographs' Communication which is a modestly produced but very useful monthly compilation on the information media and publishing out of Islamabad. The July issue alone had the following announcements: Senior Sub-editor of Jang Karachi, Manzar Imkani shot dead by unidentified assailants; Farasatullah Khan, Jang correspondent in Daska, shot and critically wounded; renowned educationist Ashfaq Ahmed shot dead in Gulberg, Lahore; Javed Rana, senior news editor of The News Lahore shot dead. Thank heavens for the one announcement of a natural death, that of senior freelance journalist Rana Iqbal.
The basketball-loving (supposedly), log-housing living (also supposedly) monarch of Bhutan is properly called His Majesty King Jigme Singye Wangchuk of the Dragon Kingdom. Whyfore, therefore, he is being called "His Excellency Jigme Singye Wangchuck" by The Asian Age in a news item on how Bhutan has agreed to allow the Sankosh river to be diverted all the way to Farakka. Whyfore indeed, I tell you.
The Naga people of India's (they might not agree) Northeast met for eight days to try for conciliation among the various politicised factions. Where did they meet? Atlanta GA, whose only claim to fame in recent years has been the holding of the 1996 Olympics. So what do the Mizos do if they too want to "relinquish old antagonism, give up old grudges and build upon the best of (Mizo) heritage"? I am afraid they will have to wait till after the year 2000, when all Mizo factions can troop to Sydney NSW, but only after the games are over. Such is logic.
There is a supposedly-independent newspaper published by an expat Indian in New York which survives handsomely on the handout of UN agencies. It is known as The Earth Times, and its job is to surreptitiously publish puff pieces on UN aid agencies without the earth knowing who paid. And so, here is a recent article lead, written by a Daniel J. Shepard in the paper, "Major improvements in access to health care have accompanied Nepal's democratically elected government assumed power five years ago…" Reading on, the money for this one seems to have come straight out of UNFPA coffers.
Any person who calls himself an intellectual is not one. Does not have enough intelligence, which is the first prerequisite of being part of the intelligentsia. 'Intellectual' is something that you call others, much like 'environmentalist', never yourself. I think all SAARC countries have this category, which indicates the depth of mediocrity in this region, which is why I support the announcement by Himal's editors that they are organising a conference on South Asian mediocrity. Be sure to have a panel on those who call themselves intellectuals, including the entire membership of the All-India Conference of Intellectuals. Boy, that must be one big membership glob of self-important, bombastic, stuffed-shirt, paan-chewing (though not in itself a contrary trait, but in association with the others it can be lethal) non-intelligentsia.
Saw an AFP picture of a tea conference in Colombo. A lady tea-picker was demonstrating her craft, with what looks like a specially crafted helmet with place for the basket tumpline. I think this is an admirable idea, if it works, and should be replicated – ah, that developmental word – in the other tea-pickin' areas such as the Nilgiri, Darjeeling hills and Assam valley.
The 1997 Progress of Nations of Unicef has a full-page picture of a Muslim man with a raised arm supposedly against a kurta-clad woman with hands covering her face. This picture is supposed to depict "The intolerable status quo: violence against women and girls". Photo-editor has to be given a course in cultural sensitivity, I say. The photo can hardly depict a man engaged in beating, for the mechanics of the act requires a posture quite different from what is shown. If anything, that is a South Asian posture when a man is leaning relaxed against a wall. For all we know, he may be singing a gazal off key, and she might be saying with her gesture, "I can't stand it!"
Whichever among you thought Pakistani women were made of docile stuff think again after you hear this. The News reports from Islama-bad, "A woman car driver thrashed a traffic police sergeant when he challenged her for running a red light at Khyber Plaza chowk. Instead of leaving the spot, the woman…tore the sergeant's uniform and sat on his motorcycle. She left the spot in anger to the amazement of onlookers."
Glad to note that there is at least the semblance of a debate among journalists in Karachi on the propriety of their receiving subsidised residential plots from the Sindh government. The practice goes back to the 1960s, writes Imran Shirvanee in The News, and the latest offering was at the hands of former First Husband Asif Ali Zardari on it. Well, if they are at least talking about the propriety, Pakistani journalism cannot be all that bad, can it?

Chhetria Patrakar