‘Quick study’

I had never seen anything like it, and can barely remember the details anymore. I know it was very large, and I know it was very bright, and I know it was more comfortable than anything I could understand then – the way a warm rain at just the right time makes you feel as though you've melted and melded with the very earth itself.

I listened to her attentively for several weeks, alone at night by candlelight as winter storms wailed outside. During those sessions, I made sure to catch every nuance, made sure to study rhythm and metre and inflection as best I could. Before too long, she'd tell me to Sit!, and down I'd go – even if the frozen ground felt very cold. She'd tell me to Stay!, and I wouldn't move a muscle – even if a fly settled right on my nose, even if a draft blew into my ear like an errant gnat, like a fleeting thought of violence. And she'd tell me that I was very good indeed, and I'd believe her – though oftentimes I didn't feel any better than any other day, and sometimes felt a good deal worse.